Do you have a pickle dish? I don’t, but I grew up in a pickle dish family. My grandmother canned and pickles were a staple, always in the fridge with plenty more jars lined up in the pantry. Most meals at her house included pickles. They were just one of those things you made a place for on the table, like salt and pepper or butter. She served them in oblong cut-glass dishes, with little forks tucked in the side.
Towards the end of her life when my grandmother struggled to move around and unscrew the lids on pickle jars, the rest of us tried unsuccessfully to get her to forego the pickle dish. Just put the jar on the table. That’s good enough.
The rest of us – visiting for the weekend from school and work and used to slap-it-on-the-table meals at our own homes – wanted the cooking and cleaning and towel-drying over with sooner. Her way wasn’t our way and doing it my grandmother’s way meant more work for us. All those special dishes pulled out of their spots in the cabinet, put into service on the table, emptied, cleaned, and put back again – and most of us didn’t eat many pickles either. Why was this worth it to her?
I should point out here that I was once annoyed by the suggestion that bagged ice ought to be emptied into a serving bowl. A friend’s mother asked to host her son’s birthday party at the Wesley Foundation and, after turning on the lights and hauling out one of our travel coolers to throw the bag of ice in, I was surprised when she asked if there was something nicer we could arrange.
For someone who has prided herself on offering hospitality, I’ve been clueless about some of the finer points. Let’s face it, there are times when the way someone offers hospitality doesn’t feel very welcoming and doesn’t incline you to make yourself at home. But that can happen as easily through a thoughtless simple cooler as it can through a thoughtful fussy pickle dish.
Here’s the real confession: I now have a cake saver. One of those cut-glass, pedestal, domed cover things that seem so very Betty-Crocker-1955. I don’t make many cakes or pies and I am strict about how many one-purpose items clutter up the kitchen. So , for a long time I thought keeping a cake saver on hand for those infrequent occasions was unnecessary.
I don’t know why, but a couple of years ago I started to think otherwise. I wanted a cake saver. I had no grand plans to become a pastry chef or to start having a cake for Sunday dinner each week. I simply thought it might be nice to have for those times when I did have a cake or pie to serve – or maybe even for a mound of cookies.
Visiting with my parents at the house that was once my grandmother’s, I found the cake saver in the same cabinet where she kept the pickle dishes. No one’s baking cakes there anymore and nobody else in the family had claimed it, so I did.
Most of the time it sits up high on top of my kitchen cabinets and needs to be dusted when I bring it down. But when I use it I see what was harder for me to understand when I just wanted to get the kitchen chores over with. I see in it an attentiveness to beauty and delight, and hospitality deeper than the dish but showcased in it.
It’s worth it to make a place for all that on the table.
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photo credit: © 2010 Lauren Mitchell, CC BY 2.0
I love your thoughts on hospitality and how presentation can signify a deeper hospitality. I’ve actually been thinking about this lately, too…when I go to this one woman’s house to be a substitute player for her quartet, she has everyone and her husband file into the dining room for a snack after we’re all done. She knows what kind of beverage everyone usually drinks and puts cans of soda on a silver plate to bring over to the table, and puts a glass carafe of water on the table for others. There is one person who is gluten-free, so she pours pop-chips into a glass bowl with a silver serving spoon and will have a separate serving platter with silver tongs for cookies or brownies. I don’t think fancy stuff is necessary, but the thoughtfulness and “attentiveness to beauty,” as you say, highlights the hospitality, making people realize that it’s being offered, and I think it makes people stick around longer!
I can picture this scene, Lisa. I love how you say she has “everyone and her husband file into the dining room” — presumably the husband doesn’t play with y’all but the circle expands at hospitality and visiting time AND it’s non-negotiable. Time to file in and enjoy. Love that. It doesn’t have to be, but there is something old-fashioned about this type of careful, thoughtful, gracious hospitality and I think that’s why it seems to go with things like cake savers, silver serving spoons, etc. It was more prevalent in another time and these are the “artifacts” of those hospitality habits. Then again, meaningful and generous hospitality can happen with non-fancy things, too: Woody showed up for our first hiking date with two chilled bottles of water. As soon as I got in the car and saw those, I was smitten.
That is awesome! It’s the attention to detail! And yes, it’s funny you say it’s non-negotiable, because snack time at that house is indeed mandatory. I was about to walk out the door the first time, and the host was like, “Oh no, we have a snack now.” 🙂